Although I like to be helpful, I find myself in the position to be abused more and more often.
People do not understand the concept of kindness.
I have found recently that people no longer think of me as helpful. Instead, they think of me as usable.
But I refuse to be used.
In the Space between being helpful and being used, there must be a happy medium.
My boundaries are relatively new, but I am working very hard to build them quickly. My career has a tendency to become overwhelming if I let it. There is so much going on all the time, but I can only do and what I can do.
My work priorities are:
- To stay strong
- To do my job
- To help other people do their jobs.
My life priorities are:
- To be happy today
- To be happy tomorrow
- To help others be happy.
I admit – I’m not great at keeping those in order. For work or for life. I am trying, though. When turbulence hits, it’s hard to learn to put the Oxygen mask on yourself 1st, but that is the only way to survive long enough to help anybody.
The people that all that are most frequently guilty of assuming my assistance are the ones I am least likely to help when I have the choice. It is not that I am vindictive, it is that I am slowly learning to respect myself.
People who do not respect me and my work enough to understand that it is just as important as theirs, are not people that I need to be helping.
I think sometimes people mistake my boundaries for the glass case holding back the help they need.
That is not what they are you cannot break my boundaries every time you have an emergency. I am not made of glass and neither are my boundaries.
You can knock gently on the door and see if I answer. You can ring my phone and see if I pick up. What you cannot do, is assume that taking a hammer to what keeps me sane will in any way help you. Or encourage me to help you if I have nothing left to give.